Tips and Tricks for Co-Parenting During the Summer Months
For most families, children being out of school creates unique scheduling challenges regardless if both or just one parent works full time. Parenting arrangements that were originally designed with the children in school and scheduled around picking and dropping the children off at school, will now have to be changed to accommodate a new summer schedule. If you find that these summer plans are constantly being arranged last minute, mediation can help prevent the stress that may cause for you and your children.
In separation/divorce mediation, we discuss this schedule change to ensure everyone is prepared and knows the path forward. This helps maintain the conversation and build trust between you two.
If your parenting agreement does not have a summer section and you find the summers are difficult to schedule and/or your co-parenting communication becomes strained in the summer months, then you can come to mediation to modify your parenting plan to avoid future struggles.
In mediation, my clients have been able to come up with a summer plan that is unique and specific to their family’s needs and wants. The arrangement can be specific to work schedules, holidays, vacations, or camps that your family wants to prioritize. When separating, child psychologists often suggest changing as little as possible for the children. Therefore, if your kids have always gone to summer camp, day camp, or to their grandparents’ house during the summer---if possible, its best to keep that schedule the same for at least the first year following a separation to maintain some stability for the children.
If your family does not have set summer plans or your family has always enjoyed having flexible plans that change every year, I have found that having a set time for the parents to meet and plan the summer allows for open communication and sufficient time to plan. This meeting often occurs mid to late spring. If these conversations tend to be difficult, mediation can offer a safe and neutral place for parents to come together to work out the summer arrangements once a year.
If you need to hire a nanny or a babysitter for the summer, its important they understand the parenting schedule, have the contact information for both parents, and any nearby close friends/family in case of emergencies. Often both parents want a say in who is watching their children. Therefore, it may be beneficial for both of you to meet the new nanny/babysitter individually or together—depending on how well you two are communicating and getting along. By incorporating a babysitter or nanny into the normal parenting schedule during the summer, you can maintain a similar schedule to that during the school year but possibly have the babysitter/nanny help fill out the gaps and help with the pick up and/or drop offs.
Mediation offers an opportunity for parents to have difficult co-parenting conversations in neutral location—whether you two are just starting your separation and want to make sure you avoid future issues, or you two already have a parenting plan that you are finding insufficient.
